Belarus and Russia Thing
by HiddenHikari
Summary: AU: Me and my friend role-playing as Natalia and Ivan, da! Lots of totally random chapters...where NOTHING makes sense. Note: Yaoi, mentions of other anime characters, self inputs, OC's, human names are used, and some minor violence on Kayla's part...
1. Acting Average

Authors Note: This story was based of me and 2 of my friends role-playing!

Also: It has a few character who are not in Hetalia: Hikari (made up; me), Tsuki (made up; friend), Jigoku (made up, other friend), Kayla (me), Mariah, (Friend) and D'Jae (Other Friend)

Also: Russia/China yaoi in the latter part!

Russia sat in his room, pencil in hand, drawing sunflowers.

_Tomorrow is China's birthday!_ He thought, _I have to make him the BEST card ever, da~!_

It was about that time that he heard a knock on his door. "Who is it, da~?" He called.

"Brooootheeeerr!" The voice called, "I can't wait any longer! You must marry me, NOW!"

Russia jumped up and immediately ran to the closet and locked the door. "It's not real!" He told himself, "She's not there!"

Belarus opened the door to Russia's room and Russia heard her walk swiftly toward the closet door.

Upon realizing the closet door was locked, she started clawing at the door. "I shall claw out the door between us brother! Please marry me!!!"

Russia, still sitting in fetal position, called out, "Your not there, da~! Chiiiiiiinaaaaaaa~~!!!" He whimpered, "Ukraine! Get in here and control your sister, da~!"

About that time Ukraine walked by, took in the scene, and started crying, "She's your sister too you know!" she called, "Don't blame everything on ME!"

Thinking fast, Russia remembered something, "D-don't even THINK about trying to break the lock, because I had England magically enchant this door so only I can open it!" He called, trying to sound confident in England magic.

Russia heard gears turn and small noises and then the door creaked open just a little, so all you could of Belarus was her left eye and some hair.

About then Kayla walked by the door way accompanied by Mariah and asked to her friend, "How is that even possible…?"

"I…I don't know…BUT IT WAS COOL!!" Mariah answered.

Back in closet, Belarus had Russia in a tight bear hug, she nuzzled her cheek against his, "I love you, brother~!"

Russia looked up at the ceiling, "…England…you…you…LIAR!!!" Russia started crying

Belarus ignored him, "I love you, brother~!" She repeated, "Please marry me~!" She cooed.

Russia tried to call out again, "Someone help! Ukraine! Anyone, da~!"

Ukraine called back from the hall way, choking back her crying, "I don't know! You try and control her!"

"Brooootheeeerr! You love me too, right~?" Belarus inquired.

Russia writhed and broke free and tried to make a run for it.

Belarus let out a creepy giggle and grabbed onto Russia's trailing scarf, "Brother~! You can't escape ME, y'know~?"

Russia was starting to get annoyed and turned on his sister, still sitting on the closet floor, "Let me go! LET ME GO! I won't marry you! WHO THE HELL WOULD?"

Belarus was honestly hurt by her brother's stinging words and loosed her grip on his scarf, and looked up into his beautiful, purple eyes, "…b-brother…"

It took him a moment, but he finally realized how hurtful his words were and he bent down and ruffled his sister's hair. "Hey, I'm sorry…da~! …I-I didn't mean it like that…" He smiled, "I meant that I'm sure that there's a guy out there for you, da~!"

Belarus only half listened, and what SHE heard made her very happy, "So…does that mean you'll marry me!!! I knew you'd see the light one day!!!"

Belarus put her hands on Russia's cheeks and kissed him, standing, she brought Russia up with her. She kept them locked together like that for at least five minutes.

About that time, China walked through the hall, said hello and good bye to Kayla, Mariah, and Ukraine as they scurried down the hall.

He noticed Russia's closest door open, and being one to get annoyed with things like that, went to close it. But what he saw in the closet was way too much for him to bare. "O-oh… I see…" Tears started to well in the Chinese man's eyes. "Good-good bye…" he turned away and started to walk, fast pace, away from the scene in the closet.

Russia pushed out of Belarus' tight embrace, "Now look what you've done, da~!!!" He ran after China.

Tsuki appeared out of the shadows in the closet; vampire fangs glistening in the small light that shown through the barely gaping door, "Well, this shocking."

Belarus looked at the vampire, "H-how long have you…been in here…?

Tsuki shrugged, "A while."

Belarus got up, frightened, and ran after her brother, not once looking back at the closet, "BROTHER!"

Russia caught up with China and jumped into his arms and knocked him down. "Help me!"

China made a small sound as he fell, and pushed him off, "Get off me you fricken CHEATER!!"

Russia got off, and hung his head for a second to take in the accusation, "NO!" He finally said, "It was all her!" he pointed to his sister who was just now entering the room, "I promise…I would never cheat on YOU, da~!"

Belarus picked up a knife from the counter and walked toward couple on the floor, "Brooootheeeerr~! You're not trying to leave me are you? We are married now, you know~!"

Russia stood up, "No we are not~!" He exclaimed.

China was silent, but remained on the floor, he was too afraid to move, because Belarus was right behind him.

Belarus put the knife next to China's neck, "You want your friend to die, brother…?"

"N-no! Bel-belarus! D-don't!" Russia knelled down, feeling utterly defeated, "Fine, I'll marry you, da…" Russia hung his head down.

Belarus pouted, "B-but what's the fun if you just give up, Brother? Our game is fun, and I don't wanna stop playing~!" Belarus smiled happily.

Russia looked up confused, "A-a game…da~?"

China also looked up confused, but still let out a small sigh of relief as Belarus dropped her knife.

Belarus closed her eyes, and tilted her head to the side, much like the way her big brother does a lot, "Of course, Brother~! You're my Brother, why would I REALLY want to marry you? I only want to become on with you, but the marriage thing is just a game!" She ran over and hugged her brother.

Russia smiled and hugged her back, "Okay~! We can be one, da~! And we can continue our game, da~!"

Kayla, Mariah, and D'Jae all walked back into the door way with Ukraine. Tsuki and Hikari came out of the closet.

Kayla looked at Mariah, "So, it was all a game…?"

Mariah looked back, "Uh…I guess…?"

D'Jae stared at the two vampires who all emerged from the closet, "How did all four of them fit in there…?"

She was ignored.

Tsuki watched as Belarus chased Russia around a table laughing happily, although she had picked up the knife and was still hold it in her right hand way above her head as she ran. "Wow…she is…weird…"

The voice inside Tsuki's Head: "Yes, but don't forget! You have a story to write! Stop wasting time!"

Hikari stared as Tsuki crossed her eyes trying to see herself and screamed at nothing, "SHUT UP VOICE! Or I will…I will…dang it! You're a voice! I can't do anything to you!"

Belarus still chased her brother, "You better run, Brother!"

Russia smiled.

Belarus commanded marriage, and Russia denied it.

Jigoku came out of the hall and tried to look into the room to see what was going on. "What happened?"

Tsuki didn't turn, "Long story."

Russia kept running, "Betcha can't catch me, da~!"

China finally decided to get up off the floor and strode over Ukraine and smiled at the watching sister. "Sure is good to see them acting like NORMAL brother and sister!" She said happily.

Jigoku watched as Belarus chased Russia and laughed good humouredly. "Awww, how sweet. They're acting average.

"That's a new thing for Belarus." Tsuki commented.

Belarus tackled Russia, "Now your mine~!"

Russia laughed, "Nooooo! China! Help me, da~!"

China walked over and started to tickle Russia, "Get him Belarus!"

Belarus stared at the Chinese man who was now on her side then joined in on the tickling.

Ukraine continued watching her siblings with loving eyes.

THE END

Kayla turned toward the man in the tux in the corner of the room who held a microphone, "No its not!"

Mariah turned to look too, "Yeah! We wanna keep talking!"

The man in the tux put his hands on his hips in a very girly fashion. "NO! The story ended!"

Kayla and Mariah answered in unison, "SO! Were gonna keep talking!"

Mariah grabbed Kayla's arm and pulled her down the hall, "Come on, Kayla! Let's talk somewhere away from that freaky man in the tux!"

THE END!

"I mean it!" Kayla called back.

The man dropped his voice to barely a whisper, "The end."

End Note: Well, I'm glad to say you successfully wasted however many minutes it took you to read this worth of time! .


	2. Definitely Desperate

NOTE: This contains implied guy/guy s*x and Soul Eater characters, da~! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

----

Well…Belarus was still at it; she chased Russia all around the house, "NII SAN!" She screamed.

Russia turned and looked at her, slowing down a bit, "What?"

"PLEASE MARRY ME!"

Russia turned back around and picked up pace again.

Tsuki walked inside and leaned against the wall, "Are they still doing that?"

"Apparently." Hikari mumbled through her face-palm.

Russia thought fast, "HEY! BELARUS! GO WATCH THIS DVD!" Russia threw the disc at his sister, "RUSSIA COMMANDS YOU, da~! I'LL EVEN HAVE A PRETEND MARRAGE IF YOU WATCH IT, da~!" Russia yelled.

He knew his sister would watch it. Even though it only contained a butterfly flying through a sunflower field for five minutes straight, plus it was set to an endless loop, so it should take her a while before she finally got bored of it. Belarus had some miner ADD…

Belarus came back an hour later, "I WATCHED IT! MARRY ME! NOW!" She said hugging her brother who had finally gotten relaxed.

"I said I'd pretend, da~!"

"Fine…at least it's some sort of marriage!" Belarus said nuzzling her brother.

Tsuki leaned over and whispered in Hikari's ear, "Desperate!"

Russia smiled nervously.

Hikari nodded, arms crossed, "Definitely desperate…"

Kayla walked in and huddled in a corner sobbing, everyone stared. "M-my parents we're trying to dance earlier…" She muttered under her breath.

Hikari's eyes widened, "It. Was. TORTURE! …I'm glad I don't have parents…"

Kayla didn't look up, "Yeah…lucky bitch…no parents…and your boyfriend's really hot, too…you just have everything don't you?"

Hikari thought for a second, "Um…yep!" She smiled.

Kayla glared at her.

"Uh…can we focus on Russia and Belarus?" Tsuki asked, motioning toward Russia who was trying to get his sister to stop sitting on him.

Hikari and Kayla nodded and looked back at the two on the couch.

Kayla started to zone out.

Hikari waved a hand in front of her face.

Kayla came back to Earth, "What was that?" Hikari asked.

"Oh, sorry…I was thinking about yaoi…" Kayla replied. "Soul and Death the Kid are so sexy together…"

Tsuki looked away, "I should apologize for one thing."

Hikari looked at her, "What?"

"I know why Soul and Kid aren't together."

Kayla looked up, "Since when-?"

They ignored her, "Why?" Hikari asked.

"Because I came into Soul's life! We're in love!" She clapped her hands together and looked off into the distance, sighing contently.

Kayla pulled a water pipe out of nowhere and suddenly the room got very…dark. "YOU! YOU DESTROYED THE YAOI! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!!!" She screamed as she chased Tsuki trying to smash her skull.

"GUYS! Can we focus on Belarus and Russia! The poor guy looks like he's in a lot of pain…" Hikari screamed at them before pointing to Russia who was being dragged out the back door.

"Come on, Nii-san! Let's pick out tux, yes?" Belarus said in a surprisingly sing-songy voice.

Tsuki, Kayla, and Hikari all simultaneously facepalmed.

Jigoku came in eating a pop tart, "What did I miss?"

They all stared at the new comer, and answered in unison. "A lot."

Jigoku nodded, "…as always…"

Kayla started thinking about what Tsuki said about Soul and Kid not being together anymore. "You know…I saw Soul and Kid on a date just yesterday…"

Tsuki looked at her, big blue eyes round and about to pop out, "WHAT!? …fricken cheater!..."

"I feel a flash back coming on!" Jigoku said, waving her hands above her head like they were riding a rollercoaster.

Hikari put her hands in front of her mouth, "Oh no…not a flash back! Those things make me sick!" She started to run to the bathroom.

"Well…I was sitting at Mc Donald's, and I was spying on Alfred and Arthur, and- What?" Kayla started to explain but was cut off by Jigoku's snickering.

"It's just…you were spying…on a yaoi couple?" she laughed, "A bit Elizabeta-ish, don't 'cha think?"

Kayla got infuriated at one, being called Elizabeta-ish for the SECOND TIME, and two for being interrupted. She pulled out a frying pan and held it above her head, "YOU WANNA SEE ELIZABETA-ISH!?" She said before slamming it against Jigoku's head.

Jigoku fell over, knocked out. Kayla resumed her story, small blushes occupying her cheeks, "Anyway~! And I saw Soul and Kid and Corona. Corona was inside the kid's play thingy, and hiding in a corner. Soul and Kid were trying to get him…or…her…or…whatever…out before Maka came back. And then when Corona wouldn't come out, Soul decided to scare…it…out, so he started to kiss Kid. But after a while, I think it was real, mostly because they ended up all the way inside the tunnels and all the kids ran out saying they were doing 'nasty' things…" Kayla ended the flash back.

Hikari cam back in, "THANK GOD that's over, I was about to barf…"

"I thought you did?" Tsuki asked.

"Sorry…about to barf AGAIN…" Hikari corrected.

"DOES NO ONE CARE ABOUT MY LONG STORY!?" Kayla shouted.

Russia, still clinging to the door frame for dear life and Belarus, still pulling at his feet, looked up and spoke simultaneously, "You told a story?"

"Well! NOW I FELL LIKE CANADA, AY!" Kayla said putting her hands on her hips.

"GUYS! LET'S FOCUS!" Tsuki called pointing at Russia who was about to be overpowered by his little sister.

Belarus looked up happily, "Yeah! I'm about to be happy for eternity pretended-ly!"

"One last thing, no one paid attention to the flash back…" Tsuki said, thinking back.

"It's okay! I'll just repeat it! I was at Mc Donald's and--"

"NO!" Everyone shouted back in unison.

"…you guys can be so mean sometimes…!" Kayla muttered.

THE END!

"NARRATOR PERSON! STOP THAT!" Tsuki scolded the man in the tux from before.

"YEAH! BITCH!" Hikari jabbed.

"That was cruel…" The narrator started to cry, he must have been very emotional…

"Do you want to say the end, everyone!?" Tsuki asked.

"SURE! THE END!" Every shouted.

---

A/N: Looks like you wasted another few moments of your life reading another weird role-play thing with me and TsukiloveSoul and xXxJigokuxXx8, da~! ^^ Congrats~!


	3. Cursed Carrot

Hikari stood at wiped the tears out of her eyes.

"Well, you seem okay." Tsuki said sarcastically.

Hikari shook her head to get the flower petals out of her hair, "Shut up! For a fake marriage, it sure seemed real!"

"Yeah…Belarus did go A LITTLE overboard…" Mariah said, walking up to the two vampires.

Belarus looked up at her brother, "Now marry me for real?"

"Still no, da…" Russia said, shaking his head.

Kayla sat all alone in a corner, "I STILL never got to redo the flashback…"

"NO ONE CARES, OKAY!?" Hikari shouted at her.

Italy jumped out from behind the alter in the church they had 'married' in, "PASTAAAA~~!" He shouted.

Belarus facepalmed. "WOULD YOU GET OUT OF HERE!?"

"VEE~! LUDWIG! SCARY! SCARY!" He cried as he ran out of the church.

"What is it, Jigoku?" Tsuki asked, shifting her attention to Jigoku.

Jigoku just stared, horrified.

"WHAT!?" Tsuki screamed.

"F-floating carrot!" Jigoku screamed, raising an arm and pointing at a carrot that was indeed floating.

"H-how is that possible…?" Hikari asked.

"Well OBVIOUSLY England cursed it!" Kayla stated.

"Why the heck would he make a carrot FLOAT?!" Tsuki screamed.

"I don't know…" Mariah said, joining the group of girls.

Belarus looked over, getting annoyed at the others screaming while she was TRYING to stare into her brother's beautiful purple eyes. Then she saw the carrot. "That is--"

She was cut off by her brother running over and picking it up, "Yao likes carrots!" Then he accidently dropped it, and it fell to the ground. "Awww…now it's all dirty, da…" He walked back to his sister.

"THAT WAS AMAZING, BROTHER!" Belarus exclaimed, "NOW MARRY ME FOR REAL!"

Russia giggled, "Het~" (No in Russian)

"Yes, yes you will." Belarus claimed nodding.

"Narrator…say 'The End'! PLEASE!" Russia whispered to the man in the tux.

"Yes! I finally get to say it with out being killed! THE END!" The narrator screamed happily.

Belarus walked over and showed the narrator her shiny knife, "You know what makes this look REALLY cool?"

The narrator shook his head, frightened.

"When blood drips down it, and it covers my clothes, and you can't see my face." Belarus claimed, running a finger down the blade.

The narrator backed up and ran as fast as he could in the other direction.

"Great, maybe he won't come back now, thanks Belarus." Hikari said, patting the girl on the back.

"Don't mention it!" Belarus said, smiling wide.

"But why…did England want a carrot to float, da~?" Russia asked, puzzled.

Belarus decided to glomp Russia, and they fell to the floor, she looked down at him, "I don't know! Marry me!?"

"NO! GET OFF, DA~!" Russia said pushing her off and jumping back up.

"Maybe he's trying to kill us with a mutant carrot!" Mariah exclaimed.

Tsuki facepalmed.

"One thing I don't get…why a carrot? Why not a hammer of a chainsaw? Something more violent than a carrot!?" Hikari asked, scratching her head.

"Maybe he was hungry!" Tsuki exclaimed.

"No, he's _England,_ not Hungary." Jigoku said.

"Not 'Hungary', 'hungry'!" Tsuki said.

"Yeah! That makes sense!" Kayla nodded.

Hikari looked at her through slitted eyes, "No it doesn't!"

Tsuki glared at her, "It's possible…"

"ENGLAND'S GONNA KILL US WITH A MUTANT CARROT!" Jigoku exclaimed, hiding her eyes in her hands. She began to sob. "CURSED CARROT!"

"He's not gonna kill us with a mutants carrot!" Everyone screamed at her.

"…oh…"

About that time China walked in and asked what happened. Russia quickly explained what happened to the Chinese man.

"Wait." China said, stopping Russia from finishing the story, "A floating carrot, aru?"

Everyone nodded.

China facepalmed.

THE END!

"He's back! GET HIM!!!" Hikari yelled as they all chased after the narrator, leaving a confused China behind.

"I guess I'll say it, aru…" China mumbled, "The end."

---

A/N: Well…+sigh+ not much to say other than this chapter was weird, da…fun to write, but weird nonetheless…

Also: Just incase you couldn't tell, I name all the chapters after some random part in the story where someone says two words in a row that both start with the same letter.

As of now, there will be at least two more chapters, but I don't know how many more after that, da~!

And again, this chapter was originally written by TsukilovesSoul, she gave me permission, da~!!!

Congrats on wasting your time reading another totally idiotic role-play thingy, da…+leaves+


	4. Freaking France

ATTENTION!!! IF YOU LOVE FRANCE, TURN BACK NOW!!! DO NOT READ IF YOU LOVE FRANCE!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

* * *

"Bye sister! Tomorrow is China's birthday, so I'm spending the night, da~!" Russia said as he walked to the front door.

"Not so fast, what about me?" Belarus said, grabbing her brother's arm.

"China isn't scary like you, sister…" Russia said, pulling out of her grip.

Hikari nodded her agreement.

"That's the point," Belarus said, blocking the door, "I can scare you into marriage! What's he gonna do? Ask you nicely? Like you'd agree to _that!_"

Russia blushed and thought to himself that actually he would agree to that…

"BELARUS! WALK AROUND THE HOUSE 500 TIMES!" Tsuki screamed, pointing to the door.

"Oh no, I'm not falling for that one again!" Belarus said, crossing her arms and not moving out of the way.

"OH, JUST LEAVE!" Every one screamed at her.

Kayla facepalmed, "Oh no…here comes another long role-play thing that will eventually end up being uploaded to FanFiction…" She sighed.

"At least you don't have a stupid pole thing up asking if you would cute dating Death the Kid…" L said grabbing a lollypop from the fridge.

"Your dating Death the Kid!?" Hikari screamed, "WHY. DIDN'T. YOU. TELL ME!?"

"FAAAAAAAANGIIIIIIIIIRRRLLL!!!" L screamed, running down the stairs to lock himself in his room.

"L…" Kayla called creepily, "come out, come out where ever you are~!" She took out a hair pin and started to unlock his door.

_I know how Russia feels…_L thought, _Know wonder he drinks so much vodka…_

"RUSSIA!" Kayla screamed, "EITHER BREAK THE DOOR FOR ME, OR YOU HAVE TO READ A STORY ABOUT YOU BEING RAPED BY FRANCE!" Kayla called.

Russian came running down the stairs at top speed. He stoped at the beginning of the hall.

If he helped Kayla, L would be mad at him. If he helped L, Kayla would be mad at him.

If Kayla was mad…France would rape him without even thinking about it, gawd that guy was horny…

If L was mad…he didn't want to think about it…

"SISSSSTTTEEEERR!!! Help me kill France, da~?" If he killed France, Kayla couldn't do anything. "I'LL EVEN MARRY YOU!!!!"

"Okay, sounds fun~!" Belarus called after getting her knife and dragging Russia out the front door. "Now~! Where is France…?"

"S-scary…" Tsuki called hiding behind Hikari.

"GET AWAY!" Hikari said swatting the other vampire away.

Belarus and Russia came back a few minutes later, "Now, you'll marry me, right?"

"I lied." Russia said smiling cutely.

"So I killed France for no reason…?" Belarus asked, looking at her seemingly super intristing feet.

Kayla looked out the window, "I'M GONNA BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!" She called before grabbing Mariah's hand and pulling her to the bus-stop.

L squeaked open his door, "Is it safe to come out…?"

"NO~!" Hikari called trying to reach through the door. He slammed it on her hand. She screamed a few cuss words before kicking the door and leaving.

Kayla and Mariah came back a while later.

Kayla's hair was a mess.

"What happened?" Russia said, staring at the bug-eyed girl.

"F-France…is not…dead…"

Mariah nodded, "She was boob-raped…"

"He's a boy…right?" Tsuki asked looking at the two.

"Fine. She was chest-raped, that better?" Mariah asked, sarcastically.

Hikari opened the freezer, "Um…guys…? His dead body is in the freezer…" She said picking up a nearly frozen solid arm and then letting it drop. It made a disgusting sound as it hit the freezer bottom.

Belarus nodded, "Marry, marry, marry, marry, marry Nii-san! Understand yet? YOU WILL MARRY ME."

Russia gulped.

"I s-swear he's ALIVE. He…ah…_chest-raped_ me today, and just flat out raped poor America, then at lunch he kissed England and Italy on the lips, and poor Canada…he's lucky he's a fast runner…frickin' France…" Kayla asked.

Hikari patted her on the back. "There, there. It's okay. What can we do to make you feel better?"

Kayla thought for a minute, "OH YEAH! I NEVER GOT TO REDO MY FLASHBACK! I WAS IN Mc DONALDS WHEN—"

"SHUT UP!" Everyone yelled at her, even L who apparently could hear her from his room.

"Th-the…end…" The narrator said weakly, twiddling he thumbs.

"He…is…BACK!?" Mariah yelled.

"FORGET FRANCE! KILL HIM!" Hikari screamed, and everyone started punching, and kicking, and throwing things at the narrator. Even L who tiptoed up the stairs and threw a doughnut at him and then snuck back down _very_ quietly.

Italy walked in to see everyone covered in blood, "V-vee…?" He said weakly, eyes huge and round.

"IF HE COMES BACK AS A ZOMBIE, I'M JUST GONNA RIP HIS HEAD OFF AND SAW IT INTO EIGHTY-SEVEN PIECES!"

Death the Kid came in and flicked her head, "…make it eighty-eighty…"

"FINE! SYMYTRY OBSESED FREAK!" Mariah screamed.

"That was cruel…" Kid said, "Um…what's going on anyway…?"

D'Jae jumped in out of nowhere, refusing to let anyone else talk to Kid but her, "WHAT'S GOING ON IS L IS LOCKED IN HIS ROOM HIDING FROM FANGIRL'S AND RUSSIA AND BELARUS KILLED FRANCE, BUT HIS STILL ALIVE SOMEHOW, EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE HIS BODY AS PROFF, OH! …and Kayla keeps wanting to redo her flashback with you and Soul having sex…" D'Jae trailed off at the end, blushing heavily and a small bit of blood trickling from her nose.

"Um…I shouldn't have asked…" Kid said, trying to leave.

"OH NO! YOU'RE COMING WITH ME!" D'Jae said, grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the room.

"You know, Russia, you should go kiss L, just out of no where…all 'cause I like yaoi, and you two are my favorite anime guys, and it would make me happy to see that." Kayla said, out of the blue.

"Is she annoying you, Nii-san~? I could kill her for you…" Belarus said, wiping France's blood off her knife.

"That's not necessary, Belarus, da…"

"YEAH ITS NOT NECESSARY!" Kayla said rolling her hand into a fist, "I'd like to see you TRY to kill me, BETCH!!!"

"OHHHHHH~~~!! POOOOOWNNNN!!!" Hikari called.

Kid and D'Jae came back in to see what was going on.

"Wait. Kid is here…and L is here…so…YAOI!!!" Kayla said before running back down and _finally_ unlocking L's door. She dragged him up the stairs, ignoring his protests. "Now. Have a cute/sexy yaoi scene." Kayla commanding, standing L next to Kid.

"No." They said simotaniously and leaving.

"I bet they're gonna go make out in private…" Kayla mumbled before using ninja skills and following them without being noticed.

"WAIT FOR ME!" D'Jae and Mariah yelled, running to catch up with Kayla. They were not very ninja like…

"What was that about…?" Tsuki asked.

"I…have…no…idea…" Hikari asked, facepalming and shaking her head.

Kayla and D'Jae and Mariah came back in. "…no fair…"

"What?" Tsuki and Hikari asked.

"They're just talking…" The three said in unison.

"Poor you guys…" the two vampires said with fake enthusiasium.

"The~ End~!" The narrator said, in his new zombie voice. Green skin falling off of his body and ragged cloths hanging from his outstreatched arms.

"That…is…IT!" Mariah said before lunging for the narrator.

He tried to run, but his legs fall off.

Mariah ripped off his head and smashed it on the ground. Then she started jumping on it. She jumped a total of eighty-eighty times. It was eighty-seven, but Kid picked her up and forced her jump one more time.

"Okay! _NOW_ it's the end!" Mariah said happily.

"…how come you always get to say the end, da~? Aren't these stories about me and my sister, da~? I think we should get to say 'the end', da~!" Russia said putting his hands on his hips and pouting.

Belarus nodded.

"…fine…" Mariah said.

"THE END, da~!" Russia and Belarus said together, Belarus even added the 'da' to sound more like her brother.

----

A/N: So? How was it? Stupid? REALLY stupid? Oh…just review…I'm sorry we get so off topic with these things, da…I promise, maybe not the next chapter, but the one after that will be CHOCKED FULL of Russia and Belarus!

Also: I think for the rest of the chapters coming up, I'm gonna use their human names, da~!

(main Hetalia characters)

Belarus=Natalia

Russia=Ivan

Italy=Feliciano

(just in case they are mentioned later…)

France=Francis

England=Arthur

Canada=Mathew

America=Alfred

Ukraine=Katyusha

Sealand=Peter

Germany=Ludwig

Japan=Kiku

China=Yao

Prussia=Gilbert

If I mention any others I will tell you at the beginning of the chapter, da~!

Cause that's just easier for me to write, da~?

Well…hope you keep reading, I currently have no clue when I will end this…

It will probably last a while though…da~…

'Kay! I shuddup now!


	5. Never Normal

"Hey Natalia…wanna help your brother kill some people that were mean to me and Mathew today?" Kayla called to Natalia as she sat her backpack on the couch.

"Are you forcing Nii-san to kill them for you…?" Natalia asked, peeking her head around the corner.

"No. He offered thank you very much!" Kayla said mockingly. "And he said he really needed your help."

"ANYTHING FOR NII-SAN!" Natalia called, getting her knife ready for the kill. She grabbed Mariah by the back of her shirt, "Come on. You're coming too."

"Fine. But unless it's that stupid narrator, don't expect me to kill anyone."

"That's okay, da~!" Ivan said entering the front door with his water-pipe. "Leave the killing to us." He looked at Kayla who was pulling books from her bag, "Aren't you coming, da~? You've always wanted to kill someone, right, da~?" Ivan asked.

"I can't. I have like, seventy math problems…" Kayla said sighing and getting a pencil.

"Then we'll wait for you, da~!" Ivan said sitting on the couch and looking at Kayla's library book. "Can I have your bookmark, da~?" He said taking out the bookmark shaped like a sunflower.

"Sorry…no…"

Natalia stood right in front of Kayla, knife barely caressing the skin on her neck. "He said, he wanted it."

"N-N-N-NATALIA! IT'S OKAY! I DON'T WANT IT! It…um…" He purposely dropped it onto the floor, "It fell on the floor, da~! I don't want it anymore, da~!"

"Okay brother!" Natalia said skipping over and nuzzling her brother.

---Three hours later---

Kayla sighed and dropped the pencil, "PHEW~! I'm done!" She got up and got her jacket and headed toward the door.

"Let's go~!" Ivan said grabbing Natalia's hand and running out the front door laughing maniacally; Kayla and Mariah followed behind, not nearly as enthusiastic about it.

Katyusha peeked her head around to corner, "Uh…Um! D-don't get too bloody!" Tears started pouring from her eyes as she ran away, "THOSE ARE HARD STAINS TO GET OUT!!!"

Mariah stared at the brother-sister pair as they smashed and cut the mean children. She shook her head, "Problematic…"

Kayla nodded, arms crossed, "But~! At least I don't have to deal with them anymore~!" She said, looking at the bright side that they might be charged with murder.

Mariah nodded, "True…"

Once the three were good and dead, they went back to find Hikari and Tsuki, once inside Natalia bent down to pick something up.

"What is it?" Kayla asked, taking it away and looking at it.

"It looks like a…MARRIAGE DOCUMENT!" Mariah asked, gasping.

Tsuki and Hikari came in, Tsuki walked over pulled the paper from Kayla's grasp. "A marriage document for Ivan and Natalia?"

Hikari stole it for herself, "And…IVAN! RUN! IT'S BEEN APROVED!" She yelled.

Ivan turned and ran for his life, Kayla called after him, "THANKS FOR KILLING THEM~~~!!!"

Natalia chased after him and grabbed onto his scarf. "Do not run away from you wife!"

"Um…Ivan?" Tsuki said, motioning Ivan over and pointing to the paper, "It says here that YOU signed it…"

"That's right! We're officially married!" Natalia shook her head, "But of course we need a big wedding, with the whole Soviet Union there! We gotta call Latvia and Estonia and Lithuania, and make reservations, and …" She kept mumbling to her self about everything that had to be done for dream wedding.

Ivan snatched the paper away, "That…that's not my hand writing, da~! Its way to messy!"

"Plus," Hikari threw in, "it's written in blood…"

Kayla nodded and closed her eyes, "Ivan is CLEARLY not dead…or married…unless it's to Yao…" Kayla blushed then screamed "YAOI!" at the top of her lungs.

"But Ukraine signed it too…" Tsuki said, sneaking a peek at the paper.

"W-well...maybe Ukraine signed cause you scare her more than you scare me, da...and you could very easily copy my writing cause you've lived with me ever since you were born...well...that is...until I met Yao..." Ivan finished.

"DONT TALK ABOUT UR STUPID BOYFRIEND!" Natalia screamed before slapping her brother.

"GUYS! Focus! What Ivan is trying to say, is maybe she forged it!" Tsuki yelled. She turned toward Natalia, "Did you steal his signature?"

"Not at all! I respect Brother more than that!" Natalia claimed.

Ivan looked down, deep in thought.

"What is it, Ivan?" Hikari asked.

"W-well...I kinda had too much vodka the other day, da...and when I woke up I was in some business like building, da...this guy asked for my signature, he said my sister REALLY needed it, so I signed it with out reading it, da...y'don't could that could be it, do you? I mean, I thought maybe I was bailing her out of jail or something, da…" Ivan said staring at his feet.

Kayla and Tsuki facepalmed.

Hikari, standing right next to him, slapped him upside the head, "IDIOT!"

"Did it EVER occur to you that signing something for your sister might be this!?" Tsuki screamed.

"Uh…once or twice, yes…" Ivan said, looking up.

"THEN WHY THE HECK DID YOU SIGN IT!?" Kayla yelled.

"Because, for the SECOND TIME, I thought I was bailing her out of jail or something, da~!" Ivan yelled standing.

"Your vodka drunk self go you MARRIED!" Hikari screamed at him.

Meanwhile, Natalia was still in the corner of the room figuring out wedding plans. She heard all the yelling and didn't like it very much, "WHO CARES IF HE SIGNED IT DRUCK? HE STILL SIGNED IT!"

Kayla didn't like the sound of that. "Ivan. Is. MINE!" She yelled grabbing the document and ripping it to shreds.

"That right there was suicide." Natalia said pulling a knife out and started inching closer to Kayla.

"Does it even matter, anyway?" Mariah asked, all eyes turned to her in question, "Didn't you say, like forever-ago that it was all a GAME!?" She sighed and walked away.

"Oh yeah…" Everyone said in unison before walking away.

"THE END!" The narrator's son, Narrator II, said.

"AH~! Just let him do it today…I'm too sleepy and lazy to kill or hurt him…" Mariah called back to the confused others who were all ready to fight.

"SAYS YOU!" They screamed at her before killing the Narrator a billion times over.

"THE END!" Ivan and Natalia called after he was dead.

----

A/N: So…yeah…I'm too lazy to type anything here this time, so just review and wait for the next chapter, da~?


	6. Big Baby

Natalia and Ivan were grocery shopping at the local food store. Ivan picked up a loaf of bread to examine the price differences. Natalia clung to his right arm, nuzzling his shoulder.

"N-Natalia! Get off! Go find the milk, da~!" Ivan said pushing his sister off him and pointing to another isle.

"BUT BROOOOOTHEERRR~~~!" Natalia whined, "I love you WAY more than stupid MILK!" She pouted and refused to leave.

"Please, please, please!" Ivan begged, almost down on hands and knees, "Oh!" He said shooting back up and trying to look intelligent, "Remember how I said we could have your favorite food tonight, da~?" He inquired.

"Yeah…so…?" Natalia asked skeptically.

"Its needs MILK!" Ivan said pointing up like a lightbulb went off.

Natalia's eyes got huge, "But…but…if I leave you here all alone Nii-san…" Natalia said innocently before immediately growing hostile and her eyebrows furrowing in anger, "then you might leave…or worse, that stupid Chinese guy might come and take you…or EVEN WORSE…Kayla might go all fangirl and KIDNAP YOU!"

_That's the point,_ Ivan thought,_ I __**want**__Yao to take me! But…BUT…What if Kayla dresses up like Yao, da~?_ Ivan let out an involuntary shudder at the thought of being that fangirl's hostage.

"Why don't we just go together, Nii-san!?" Natalia asked, perking up a bit.

"Well…because…uh…" _there's still a chance for it to actually be Yao, _he thought. "Just go get the milk and come straight back. It won't take but ten seconds, da~!" Ivan said instead.

"THAT'S TEN SECONDS TOO MANY!" Natalia shouted, causing quite a few other shoppers to turn and stare. _If that Chinese guy comes, he'll take away Nii-san. Or Kayla with her fangirl moments. I can't leave Nii-san!_ Natalia thought.

Ivan sighed, "Just go get it yourself, da~! Don't tell me you're still a baby, da…Because if you're too little to do things yourself, then…well…I can't marry a big baby, da~!" Ivan said, raising his eyebrows knowingly. If that didn't get Natalia to leave, then he didn't know what would.

Natalia looked depressed for a moment before shooting around and running for her life to get the milk.

_Oh please, Yao! Come! _Ivan prayed silently.

She was only gone for about two seconds flat before she popped up behind Ivan with a whole jug of milk. "I GOT IT, NII-SAN!" She said, exasperated.

_Damn…_ Ivan thought.

Yao peeked out from behind and isle a few feet away, "Crap…I'm too late…" He muttered sadly.

Kayla peeked out from behind Yao, "Shit…me too…"

Yao turned around, frightened, and looked at the girl, "When did you get here, aru!?" He whispered so as not to alert Natalia.

Kayla gave him about the scariest rape-face you've ever seen in you're whole life before getting really serious really fast, "Go do it. You are my OTP. DO IT NOW! Now!" She commanded.

Yao blushed and looked away, "Don't wanna, aru~!" He said before running the other way.

Kayla sighed, "No yaoi today…" She turned and left.

Natalia heard Yao's footsteps as he ran and turned toward the now empty isle, "WHO'S THERE!?" She screamed.

Ivan put a hand on her shoulder, "Natalia…just relax…"

"NO!" Natalia said, shaking the hand off and looking deep into her brother's eyes. "If that Chinese man comes, he'll steal you away from me!"

"Which would be good…" Ivan whispered to himself.

"I heard you…"

"Oh shit…" Ivan said, bitting his lip.

"Nii-san, I'm protecting you from that Chinese man!" Natalia tried to explain.

"What could Yao do, da~?" Ivan asked, looking down at his sister.

"Steal you away!"

"I doubt that!" Ivan glared at his sister, hoping to itemidate her into stopping this foolishness.

"I'm talking about stealing you away from ME!" Aparently, it didn't work…

"Sister, you're being immature, da…" Ivan muttered, staring down at his sister.

"AM NOT!" Natalia said, pouting.

Ivan sighed, "Yes you are…"

"You know what!" Natalia shouted, giving up, "FINE! If you wanna be with your stupid boyfriend, you have at it!" She screamed before running toward the store exit.

Ivan started to chase after her, but only got a few steps before realizing this was what he wanted! She's gone! Ivan started his only little dance-break-down in the middle of the grocery store. This earned him lots of odd stares from other shoppers. They all stared at the tall Russian doing a very childish dance in the middle of the store.

It was about this time that Yao stuck his head out from the isle, "Ivan…?"

Kayla stuck her head out from behind Yao, again, "YAOI!" She screamed before fainting.

Yao went up and hugged Ivan and told him to stop the random dancing.

Natalia looked back at the happy couple, "…Nii-San…" She mumbled sadly before tears erupted from her eyes.

Tsuki entered the store and upon realizing that Natalia was crying, ran to her side, "Natalia…are you…crying?" She asked.

Natalia sniffed, "No." She said stubbornly.

Tsuki looked and Ivan and Yao, hugging. She glared at him before promptly flicking him in the head.

"Ow!" Ivan cried, "What was that for, da~?" He rubbed the side of his head.

"You made Natalia cry!" Tsuki practically screamed. There was a slight pause before she added, "And don't think of it as an accomplishment!" She glared again.

Yao stood in between Ivan and Tsuki, "Don't flick him, aru!" The Chinese man protested.

"It's okay, Yao. I should apologize anyway, da…" Ivan said before moving out from behind Yao and walking over to Natalia. "I'm sorry, da…" He told his sister.

"No you're not…" Natalia said before looking away.

"Yeah I am!" Ivan cried before bending down and kissing his sister right on the lips.

Natalia blushed and smiled into the kiss before—BEEEEEEEP! Natalia woke with a start and hit the button on her alarm clock, "SHIT! THAT WAS THE BEST DREAM OF MY LIFE!!!"


End file.
